Bad Boys Two: Jasper's Struggle
by andromida1964
Summary: What happened to Jasper after James disappeared? Jasper is always looking over his shoulder. He hears and feels things that upset him. Who is Josiah and why is he taking what belongs to Jasper? J/A C/B E/R Ed MA AH. Deals with past abuse.
1. Chapter 1

SM: Owns all things Twilight related.

Bad Boys Two: Jasper's Struggle

Chapter One

Alice Remembers

**"I am not a good person, Alice, I have my own skeletons. They may haunt me more than they do the others-but I own them." Jasper Cullen**

Alice's POV

No one ever sets out to cheat on the person they love. It's a well-known fact, however, that you will become attracted to more than one individual in your lifetime. Even so, you know not to act on those impulses. That the cost of betraying the one you love could be a 'forever' without them. Because after that trust is broken, it becomes a daily struggle on their part, to move forward in the relationship.

I have been a witness to that type of hurt and betrayal before; having seen it in my father's eyes when I was a little girl. He had found a couple of letters folded securely in an old coat pocket of my mother's. She had hidden it in the back of their bedroom closet. I remember him saying that he didn't know what had possessed him to look in it, 'She never wore that coat anymore' he had said. Nevertheless, he had this overwhelming sense that he could not get rid of. The letters he found that day had changed everything in their lives; and mine as well. I vowed that day never to cheat; I would never place that kind of pain in anyone's eyes or heart. I would never become my mother, never.

However, sometimes things just happen.

Karma bites you in the ass when you least expect it. I had indeed become my mother. I had never meant for it to happen; not even once. The attraction was too much. It was just so undeniably strong. The pull I felt when I was in his very presence started in the pit of my stomach and spread like a wildfire throughout my entire body.

The first time everything seemed to move quickly and all at once. And yet it felt as though everything lagged in slow motion. It was done and over before I realized what had even happened between us. When I finally awoke from the cloudy haze surrounding my brain, I began to cry uncontrollably.

"Get out!" I began to shout at him. At first he looked shocked, and then he was just...mad.

"You stupid fucking cunt, you wanted it as much as I did." He accused as he put his clothes back on.

"I love Jasper. I can't lose him," I sobbed. "He is my heart and soul."

"Then don't tell him, Alice. He doesn't need to know what happened and I won't bother you again for Christ's sake. If you decide you want me though, I'm always around here somewhere, working on this farm." He smiled as if he knew I would be back for more, and I had vowed that I would not.

However, again, sometimes things just happen.

I had convinced myself over four months ago that it wasn't really cheating, not unless you were married. He looked like my Jasper, yet they were significantly different in every way that had counted. Jasper was my sweet teddy bear, and Josiah, he was my explosive dynamite. On the one hand I had love and security; on the other hand I had passion and excitement. And I needed them both.

As I was walking toward the barn I saw Josiah Cullen working on the tractor. Josiah was a different kind of Cullen but a Cullen nonetheless. There was something sexy about him, and no matter how hard I tried to fight my feelings for him he was always very tempting to me. Josiah had this charisma about him. There was just something so dangerous yet exciting in those crazy blue eyes of his. He had been out mowing this large estate with the tractor all morning. Josiah was an extremely hard worker. No one could ever deny that fact.

He was standing inside the barn, shirt off, sweat flowing down his lean and lengthy body. The slight blond hair on his chest was wet and glistening. His hair was a mess, like it always was, lying in long layers of brown waves. He had on blue jeans that were faded and worn, holes in the knees. The thighs were black with grease from where he would wipe his dirty hands on them.

He looked up at me and smiled his shit eating grin. "Do you see something you like, Alice?" he said as he walked towards me wiping his hands on an old scrap of cloth this time.

"I thought you would be gone. Jasper and I have plans for today and you can't be here," I informed him while crossing my arms.

"I'm over twenty-one, Alice. I believe I can be anywhere I want to be and I don't need your permission to be there," he replied all snarky to me.

"You're an asshole," I retorted.

"What are you doing out here anyhow, Princess? I wouldn't want you to get shit on your shoes," he grinned. I shook my head at the nerve of him. "Do you think you could run that cute little ass of yours into the house and get me something cold to drink?"

I huffed… turning to do as he had asked. He had been mowing in the hot sun all morning. And it wasn't like he was going to get paid for it after all. I guess the least I could do was get him something to drink. I went to the kitchen and filled up a pitcher of water adding some cold ice to it. I grabbed a glass and headed out the door and into the barn where he stood by the tractor once more. I then poured a glass and handed it to him.

He took the cold glass from my hand running it across his forehead and then down the sides of his face trying to cool down. I had to glance away from the sight of it. My panties were getting damp from the raw sex that radiated off of this man at the moment. When I looked back up, he had his head tilted back chugging down the water in three large gulps. His Adam's apple was bobbing up and down as he drank it. I took the glass from him and refilled it. That's when I made my first real mistake today. He was reaching out to take the glass from me, but I jerked my hand forward in an upward motion throwing the cold water on his chest. I heard him gasp from the shock of the coldness as it hit him, and I smirked.

The expression on his face was mixed, and I wasn't sure how he was going to react to what I had just done to him. He stood there for a minute staring, practically burning a hole into my eyes. Then he quickly moved towards me firmly grabbing me around my upper arms and shoving me forcefully up against an old stall that horses used to be stabled in.

"You wanting to get fucked little girl?" he asked. "Because I can give you what you want you know, and I can promise you that you _will_ like it." He was grinding his hardened cock into my stomach as he looked down into my eyes; towering over me. I unknowingly began to rub my legs together and he took that as a sign that I wanted him. And, Oh, God help me. I did want him.

He savagely forced his lips on mine and my mouth was watering from his taste alone. He thrust his tongue in my awaiting mouth and I began to fight him for dominance. He won of course. I wanted him to. "I want you, Alice. I have always wanted you," he whispered huskily into my ear. All I could hear were my whimpers as he began to bite my neck.

"No marks, Jasper, he wouldn't understand," I breathed out as he picked me up into his big arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

"Fuck Jasper," he said as he began to tear at the buttons on my blouse. He was becoming rough with me, and I was incredibly turned on by it. Josiah laid me down on the hay wagon and finished stripping my clothes off. "Ah," was all I could manage to mutter out. He was in complete control of everything happening. His rough hands were moving up and down my body followed closely by his extremely moist lips. He placed those talented thick lips of his on my lower ones and began to feast on the amount of juices he had flowing from within me.

"I love how wet you are for me, _all for me_." Josiah continued licking me like the animal I'd experienced him to be in the past; taking in every ounce that my body would give out to him. He arched my legs as my butt hovered at the edge of the hay wagon. He removed one of his hands, and I heard his pants unzip. I felt the tip of his cock as it brushed up against me. There was no going back now as I once again placed myself into this position of lust, mistake number two today, breaking my vow yet again.

He slowly pressed his way forward and up into my entrance. He let out a groan of satisfaction, pumping my body at a leisurely pace until I could adjust to his length and thickness. He momentarily looked at me with lust filled eyes as he bent my legs further and began to pound into me. I could hear as well as feel our skin as it slapped harshly together. He reclined his head and closed his eyes as he worked his magic on me. I then felt his rough hands as they quickly began to move up my legs and past my hips, then sliding them around my delicate curves and halting as they cupped my small breasts.

He twisted and tugged on my nipples with his long calloused fingers, causing me moan from the erotic sensation the friction created. "Alice," he simply said as he continued thrusting boldly inside of me. "Um…you're so fuckin' sexy. Have you ever had a cock shoved up your ass?" He could be so crude at times, effectively pissing me off.

I instantly found my voice. "No, Josiah, and I am not starting now either." _Bastard_!

"Not today, maybe tomorrow then," he said as he grabbed my nub causing me to cum hard. I screamed out his name and the cocky bastard smiled that evil grin of his, in total satisfaction. "That's my good girl." He leaned down to kiss me again. I could taste myself on his lips and tongue. Jasper had never permitted me to taste myself on his lips. Oh God Jasper, I can't be doing this to him. I began to fidget; nervousness was starting to take over. "Stop it Alice, Jasper will never know. Not unless you tell him that is," Josiah smirked. He knew exactly who I was thinking of and it was turning him on further.

"I Love Jasper!" I said in a raised voice while making my loyalty perfectly clear to him. This was only sex, nothing more.

"Shhhh, Jasper knows you love him," he momentarily soothed. "Now shut the fuck up, you're killing the mood." He started pounding hard into me once more and although my mind was on Jasper, when Josiah hit my sweet spot and smacked my ass, I came with a shudder.

"Oh, fuck…yeah." He said as he pumped the last few times into me before he himself released.

Once he was emptied, I sprang up grabbing my clothes, or what was left of them. "This can't happen again, Josiah," I spat with determination.

"Right Alice, you tell yourself that. Whatever it takes to get you through the day," he chuckled.

"I mean it!" I shouted. "Jasper and I are getting married this weekend so that's the last freaking time."

"Yes ma'am." Josiah winked at me while walking off all cocky.

I darted into the house and jumped into a steaming hot shower; trying to wash my sins away with suds and tears. The guilt sinking in over what I had done. I love my Jasper, so how could I do this to him? What was I thinking, doing something I had promised myself I would never do again, _again_?

When I was exhausted from crying I dried off and walked out of the bathroom. Jasper was sitting on the end of the bed. "Hi honey, I guess I slept in a little late today. Sometimes I just get so tired and I don't understand why." Jasper looked up at me with those big innocent blue eyes of his. I wanted to die right then and there.

"It's okay Jasper. I was running behind as well," I said as I put my arms around his neck pulling his warm body next to mine. Soon he would be my husband and I would be his faithful and loving wife. "You should get a shower honey. You're all sticky. We really need to get the central air looked at before long," I smiled sweetly at him. "I swear this heat melts off every bit of my make-up."

"Alice, sweetheart, you don't need make-up to be beautiful," Jasper said as he glanced into my eyes. "You're the most beautiful answer to the sweetest of prayers."

I began to cry. "Jasper, I have to tell you something," I sobbed out.

"What's wrong baby girl, tell me?" he pleaded with concern filling his eyes. However, I couldn't, or maybe I just wouldn't. Jasper has enough to deal with as it is and I won't allow Josiah to ruin everything for us.

"Oh, nothing…I think my nerves are just shot from worrying about our wedding day being perfect. I want everything to be like our own personal fairytale, Jasper."

Jasper began kissing me softly. "It will be. I promise you, Alice," he smiled.

However, our wedding day would not be perfect like Jasper had promised. I believe somewhere, deep down inside Jasper's heart, he had known.

As I waited on any word regarding where he was, I tried to swallow back the choking guilt that was eating me alive inside. I struggled gasping for every undeserved breath I took. My whole world was Jasper Cullen.

Finally, the reality of it all truly began to set in; Jasper wasn't coming!


	2. Chapter 2

SM: Owns all things Twilight related.

I need to say thank you to Mizzdee, Annabelle, and my step-mother. I am sorry that I have tore this chapter apart and re-wrote almost everything on you ladies over and over again. Funny thing is, in my eyes, it's still not perfect. :)

Bad Boys Two: Jasper's Struggle

Chapter Two, Part One

'I worried that if she knew the real me she would run away screaming.' Jasper Cullen

**Jasper meets Dr. Platt**

Must I again enter this barbaric nightmare? It seems like I'm treading backwards, struggling to grasp any piece of sanity that may remain. I know there's something, however miniscule, off balance with me as of late.

But, I'm frustrated. I've encountered this same ordeal in the recent past. And yet, here I stand frantically searching for explanations that have been beyond my reach.

I urgently owe Alice a logical explanation for missing our wedding day, **but I don't have one**! I agreed to counseling though my solutions seem ludicrous. Our now uncertain future hinges on the success to these efforts. I must somehow conquer my inner turmoil and discover a way of escape.

"Mr. Cullen, what issues of concern led you here to my office today?" Dr. Esme Platt asked me while folding her hands and placing them on the desk in front of her.

I'll wait and talk about what took place with Alice last. Out of all the things we need to discuss, the emotional damage I've caused Alice will be the most disturbing of subjects for me. I always knew that she could devastate me without any significant effort on her part. And although I held the same such power over her, I had never truthfully recognized it until…that day. She had forgiven me without thought. But for every action in my life there has always been an equally negative reaction. The confident, headstrong woman whom I had fallen in love with all those years back…well, she no longer exists.

That Alice was forever lost from that day forward—the day that was supposed to be one of the happiest days of our lives. Now, emerging in her place breathes an extremely insecure and clinging type of woman. She exists in a state of constant stress. She agonizes each time I leave the serenity and safety of her presence, fully aware that I may never return to her.

"One of the reasons I personally agreed to see you today is because I am a little paranoid at times." I responded nervously as I began precariously kneading my hands into the brown leather chair. "I get these, um…feelings."

Dr. Platt delivers her professional 'I'm really concerned' look before rendering those classic words, "How so?"

Oh, God, how do I explain this without basically sounding like I'm completely crazy? I must convey the message in a way that enables me to sound like a reasonably sane human being.

"Well, sometimes I have this sense, like there's someone…or something, standing directly behind me. I, uh, guess a better description might be a powerful type of presence. Possibly an entity…and it's watching me attentively." I glanced up at her quickly, desperately trying to gage her reaction to what I had confessed to her. Clearly, I saw no expression. I began speaking once again as my eyes scanned the ugly green carpeting on her office floor.

"And occasionally, well, it's like I can feel its' chilling breath breathing heavily down the back of my neck. It's eerie."

I glanced down at my arms and noticed the goose bumps. Chills further betrayed my confidence. Saying it out loud literally caused the hairs on my arms to stand up straight!

"The thing that is truly disturbing about this 'presence' is the horrible feeling that accompanies it. Without a doubt, it's completely evil and wants to physically reach out and grab me."

I arched my eyebrow at her in apprehension. "And if I can't out run it…it's going to ensnare me, relentlessly dragging me down with it until it totally consumes me and 'I' will be gone…forever."

"Are there any other emotions this presence brings about, Mr. Cullen?"

"Yes, I become anxious and terrified. I don't know why it's there or what it wants from me."

My hands were beginning to get sweaty just talking about this. I rubbed them briskly on the knees of my pants. "Why me?" I asked. "I mean, I know it is perhaps only my imagination, but it feels so very real when it's happening."

"What do you believe triggers these episodes?" the doctor asked.

"Well," I thought, "it began happening shortly after a letter surfaced in the mail three years after '_he'_ had supposedly disappeared. I wanted Carlisle to tell me that _'he'_ was dead and that I didn't need to worry anymore. However, my brother would never allow himself to be implicated in a murder. So an inclination of doubt remains in my mind, keeping me on the defensive. I am continually glancing over my shoulder and it's driving me into a constant state of paranoia."

"By _'he',_ you mean your step-father, James?" she inquired while listening intently.

"You have that information inside your file there, don't you?" I asked extending my neck forward and looking over at the folders in front of her. "The hospital and the other physicians I saw after I had my breakdown were supposed to mail all that information to you. I don't wish to rehash any of the things I have gone over with them, if I can avoid it. That was the past and I don't want that dug up again. You can understand that, can't you? I mean, doctors tend to want to do that, right? However, that's all behind me now," I wistfully imagined.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen, I can understand that perfectly. I have obtained the files you speak of, and I can assure you that I have carefully studied each of them. I am genuinely sorry for the loss of both your parents," she paused while making eye contact. "I can understand why you wouldn't want to discuss the abuse from your step-father. Nevertheless, I need to be upfront with you. I cannot guarantee that it will never come up in our conversations."

"Huh," I laughed out. "At least you're frank about it, I guess."

"I will always be straight forward with you, Mr. Cullen." Mrs. Platt responded sincerely then continued with her questions. "Is this the only presence that you have experienced?"

"Um, no…there's one that makes me feel very anxious and fidgety. The intensity of it is identical to the uneasy feelings I used to experience when I suspected my step-father would be approaching me, before he ah…he would start, well you know?"

"I understand," Dr. Platt answered with no expression on her face. So I continued, hoping to get it all out in the open quickly.

"There's also this other sensation I experience from time to time. It's this overwhelming perception of dread, like something really terrible is going to occur. It's difficult for me to shake off once I have it."

"Do you believe that is connected to your step-father James and the abuse he inflected on you?"

I outwardly cringed at the very thought of it.

"Mr. Cullen, are you shaking?" Dr. Platt asked concerned.

"Yeah, I, ah...I guess … I am. I, ah… don't like hearing '_his'_ name, something about it still freaks me out a little, sorry." I said looking down and wringing my hands together.

"Do you believe him to be deceased?"

"Yes," I responded quickly. "I mean, I didn't do it myself or anything…like that," I laughed out apprehensively.

"Whom do you suspect may have done it?" she questioned.

"I'm…not entirely certain. It's just a speculation on my part," I sighed, hopeful I wasn't opening up a whole new situation.

"Mr. Cullen, no one has ever been sent to prison due to someone speculating. There has to be enough sufficient evidence to hold up in court. Whatever you say will remain in confidence between only the two of us. No one directly observes my notes other than myself. Please open up freely and without fear of another incident in your life occurring," she offered.

"It honestly won't go any further?" I had to be certain. I didn't want anyone to pay for something that was totally justifiable given what we had all been through. She shook her head 'no' allowing me the freedom I needed to continue.

"I believe my brother Carlisle did it," I confessed. "You probably already figured that out from my earlier comment though. He was always attempting to protect us twins from, _'him'_," I paused. "Carlisle, being the oldest, took a lot of severe punishments in our place. He felt that it was his role to protect us. He also made drug runs for, _'him'_." I sighed recalling everything Carlisle had gone through. "That, piece of shit… put a hit out on Carlisle's life, and _'he'_ nearly succeeded," I sighed. "_He_ hated Carlisle."

I couldn't imagine my life without Carlisle or Rosalie in it. The two of them had always been there for me and I, in return, had tried to do the same. When you face danger daily, as we had, unbreakable bonds form between everyone. Then add our two other good buddies Edward and Emmett to that combination and we became a powerful force to be reckoned with, or so we had thought. The day we had all stood together as a unit and confronted _'him' _we had all ended up paying a price_._ We each lost what little was left of our innocence and we all ended up being arrested at different points. Carlisle had almost paid with his life that day. Rosalie had gotten shot in the cross fire and I had, quite simply, lost it.

"Our sister Rosalie overheard everything that was going down that evening, Thank God. She arranged a deal of sorts with_'him_' to save Carlisle's life. The hit alone was three thousand dollars. However, the deal made with Rosalie called for ten thousand. He was extremely evil that way. There was a catch, there was always a catch," I said shaking my head.

"She would have to go to work at that 'Gentlemen's Club' on the other end of town in Forks," I spat with disgust. "Some of _'his'_ shady friends owned it. Rosalie had to strip on the weekends to make the money; _she_ owed_ him_. That was the deal. It was to be paid in full within one year. She would make monthly payments of eight hundred and thirty three dollars, plus four dollars up front, to make it an even ten thousand." I huffed at how ridiculous the whole four dollars 'up front' had sounded. I shook my head and then continued once again. "She didn't make enough for a full payment one month though. He punished her by cutting off her beautiful long blonde locks of hair. She had grown her hair out for countless years. It was significant to her beauty, her pride._ 'He'_ butchered it with gardening sheers." I flinched at the memory of Rosalie being humiliated for _'his' _satisfaction. I had held my crying sister for hours." I began visibly shaking and the panic was beginning to intensify inside of me.

"Do you need to take a break? We can come back to this in the future."

"Yes ma'am... and I don't want to talk about Carlisle either. Can we just skip that part for today?" I took a few calming breaths before I had a panic attack and embarrassed myself in front of her.

"Certainly," Dr. Platt answered sweetly while automatically making a note. No doubt to revisit this subject in the near future. "The reoccurring sensations that you stated you have in short are as follows…evil, anxious and dread, correct?" I nodded. "Are there any others?" No smile, but there was something in her motherly eyes that I needed desperately to trust.

"I would have to think about that some more, I guess. However, the other thing that concerns me is that I hear these voices calling my name. But, whenever I turn around there's no one there, of course," I rolled my eyes at how absurd that had sounded. Yep, start ringing the crazy bell now; bring in the white jackets and a few addictive drugs. Jasper should not be trusted to walk amongst the human population.

"Mr. Cullen, do you recognize any of the voices you hear?" she wondered aloud.

"You mean like family members, or ah, friends?" I questioned.

"Yes," she then nodded.

"Well, I only recognize them because I hear them so often. I know that must sound crazy, right? However, I'm not; it's almost like a phantom type of thing. Whispers, mostly, rarely are they audible."

I just know she thinks I'm crazy now. I bet she's already mapping out treatments.

"Audible? As in the way I am speaking to you right now?"

"Um, yes and very clearly saying my name," Oh, I am seriously sounding like I need to go back to the mental health ward. Even I can perceive the way all this must sound to her.

"Mr. Cullen, do you sleep well at night?"

"Um yeah, I guess so," I said standing and sticking my hands in my pants pockets.

"Alice says I steal the covers," I laughed out nervously. Quickly glancing up at her and then lowering my eyes back downward. "I take naps sometimes during the day." I began to explain. "I work pretty hard and I get tired. I help build houses for 'Habitat for Humanity' I, uh, try to help out whenever I can. It makes me feel like a better person, I guess." I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Do you believe that you're not a good person, Mr. Cullen?"

"The bad stuff people say is just easier to believe I guess. It was part of the reason that Alice and I left Forks and moved back to the house I lived in growing up. Everyone back in Forks knows what happened to me. It made me nervous to even stop and fill the car up with gas. People always stared at me, and Alice…she would become…aggressive. Yeah, that would be a good word to describe her. She would march up to anyone and say 'yes,_ I shot that bastard'_ she thought that I would think they were staring at her instead of me. It was a sweet thing for her to do, but we both knew the truth. Alice was with that crazy Cullen boy, well all of us were considered crazy, but I was the one who had to be hospitalized for having a breakdown which made me even more unstable in their eyes.

Did you know we were all naked with guns the day we went to kill _'him'?_ I still don't recall taking my clothes off. I mean, why would I do that after what he had done to me? The other guys just thought it would be funny, I guess. I think it was Edwards's idea, Edward," I sighed and smiled. "He could be one crazy mother fu…_sorry_," I grinned. "Edward is the funny man in our little gang. He kinda reminds me of a lion. He's very fierce and loyal to those he's close to, but he can take a serious situation and turn it into something hilarious within seconds. We all needed a break from the constant drama in our lives and he provided us that escape."

"Would you like to discuss what happened on your wedding day, Mr. Cullen?"

"I seriously have no idea, Dr. Platt. That's one of the most important reasons I'm here today." I plopped back down in the chair rubbing my face with the palms of my hands. The emotions were already building up inside of my chest. Where do I even start? I thought.

"Why don't we start from the beginning, Mr. Cullen?" It was like she had read my mind.

**Thank You to the ones who reviewed on my first chapter. I'm sorry I haven't answered any of them. But those of you who know me understand what I am going through so please hang with me and if you love Jasper hit review. Thanks, Diane.**


	3. Chapter 3

SM: Owns all things Twilight Related

Bad Boys Two: Jasper's Struggle

Chapter Two Part Two

Jasper Meets Mrs. Platt

We saw James' other arm move, Jaspers back hunch forward, and even from where we were standing, heard the air leave his body. James had punched him hard in the stomach. Why would he do that? Why would anyone want to hurt Jasper, he's the sensitive one for Christ's sake? 'Bella Swan' Quote from Bad Boys One

"Why don't we start from the beginning, Mr. Cullen?" It was like she had read my mind.

"The night before the wedding, my brother Carlisle and our two close friends from school, Edward and Emmett, took me out for a little bachelor party. They wanted to raise a little hell and this was the perfect excuse to do it." I smiled thinking back at how excited the guys all were.

"Alice didn't want me to have one and she was quickly transforming into a drama queen over it. Crying and begging me not to go. She was fearful that I would have a one night stand or something pointless like that. She gets very jealous over other women. I don't understand why she's believes I would cheat on her. I've never once given her a reason not to trust me. However, Bella assured her that if Carlisle, Emmett or I even glanced at another woman that we would wake up without our dicks physically attached. Carlisle might have been worried about Bella's threats. Emmett and I, not so much," I chuckled. "Bella told us to go on and have some harmless fun. She assured me she could handle Alice. So we left but I knew I wasn't going to have any of that harmless fun Bella had spoken of. Alice had made sure of that through her tears. She had used them against me, tightly sealing up any chance of fun with the guys through misplaced guilt. I was one miserable man.

We proceeded to a couple of different local bars, but I couldn't relax, and I was beginning to tear down everyone's anticipation for a good time. Edward decided to fix it. Edward, being the ladies man that he imagines himself to be. Well, he hit on some guy's girlfriend. Right in front of the poor fellow and the woman, she actually flirted back with Edward." Women, they're just as bad as any man these days.

"It took all three of us to get Edward back in his seat at our table. However, we were beginning to have some fun after all." I paused while remembering. "Edward, he, ah, he was still winking at this chick while her boyfriend had his head turned. We all busted out laughing at his boldness for awhile. But then Edward abruptly excused himself. We thought he had gone to the bathroom, but we were mistaken, sorta." I began to laugh out loud as I recalled the incident. "Thirty minutes later Edward returned to our table with a smile on his face. Apparently, he had screwed the man's girlfriend in the lady's room, and had gotten away with it.

"Nevertheless, Edward… being Edward, couldn't leave it alone. He wanted to rub the guy's nose in it, so he went over to their table and started licking his fingers and moaning. Then he mouthed, 'thank you' and that's when the fight broke out.

"That guy punched Edward hard in the face. Edward staggered back a little. Then he just stood there and smiled his bright 'Crest' tooth paste smile for him. Practically daring the guy to do it again, which in turn pissed that big bastard off even more." I shook my head again because Edward's a lovable idiot.

"Apparently this guy had a few friends of his own nearby as they seemingly came out of nowhere. They began to circle one very drunken Edward. And before any of us realized what was happening, it was an all out brawl. Carlisle was wired. You could see the adrenaline oozing out of his pores. He was ready for the fun to begin. He hadn't been in a fight with anyone, other than Bella, in the past few years and I think she usually wins those," I chuckled.

"Does Carlisle abuse Bella?" Mrs. Platt questioned with a legitimate expression of concern on her face for the first time. I had to laugh at the suspicion it held.

"Carlisle would, under no circumstances, harm Bella. He's this real bad ass type character until it comes to Bella and those babies. They have the American dream, you know? The house, car, twins and a little boy on the way. Carlisle would die for any of his family members, and he has the scar on his chest to prove it. He obtained that scar **for me**." I informed her. Doctors, they play the devil's advocate just to get your reaction.

"They also share an undying love and passion for one another similar to the one my parents shared, not that I remember that much about them. Nevertheless, Carlisle has done well for himself. He and Rosalie even went into a successful business together."

"You sound proud." She now says flipping the coin in a positive direction.

"I am. We were all informed repeatedly by_ 'him'_ that we would never amount to anything. They proved _'him'_ wrong and someday I will as well." I then sighed leading the conversation back to where we had left off.

"Anyhow, back to the bar brawl. Carlisle was fighting two men at once and kickin' the crap out of them both. By this time Edward was out cold on the floor, not from the fight mind you, from the drinking.

Emmett, took Edward's shoes and hid them in the car. It's a private joke," I added. "Then someone hit me in the stomach, and I remember getting mad. Subsequently, after that I don't recall anything until Sunday just before noon," I finished.

"And your wedding was on Saturday, wasn't it?" She asked more as a confirmation than a question.

I drew in a few deep cleansing breaths, focusing, trying to keep myself from having a panic attack.

"Mr. Cullen, are you alright?"

"Yes, just allow me a few minutes to calm down. It's a panic attack; I have them from time to time, but I've learned to effectively control them over the past couple of years without medications. Alice, she helps me through them when she's with me. She clutches my large hands in her small ones and breathes with me. She puts her soft lips next to my ear and speaks her soothing words of comfort. Her words are like music sweetly tickling the insides of my mind. Alice can quickly calm me. I just can't lose her," I admitted.

I sat there quietly for a few more minutes until my breathing quieted back down. Reassuring myself that I needed to do this for Alice, for us. I may feel uncomfortable but it's nothing compared to the humiliation and discomfort I have created in her. I would man up and take this blow to my pride by just being here for Alice. So I began to tell the story once more, only this time I began a little further back.

"As soon as I asked Alice to marry me she started making wedding plans; she spent close to a year arranging everything. The best part was all I had to do was simply show up and say 'I do' the worst part is that I arrived a day late. Or at least that's what they kept telling me. I, of course, didn't believe them.

I had on my tux and boots when I arrived and was ready to say my line. I was smiling and bouncing from foot to foot knowing that within the next couple of hours I was going to be one very happily married man.

But Carlisle, he told me it was Sunday; however, I knew it was Saturday. I thought it was all some sort of big joke, and I started getting angry because they were all basically calling me a liar. Then Bella walked over to the television set and turned on a local channel that had the date and time on it. My heart fell as things began to become real to me for the first time.

I had to get a cab from the motel room we had stayed at because there was no one there to drive me home. I wondered why they would leave me there on my wedding day.

We were getting married at our home but there were no tents set up for the reception, no flowers or music. There were no people dressed up; hell there was only a couple of cars.

Other than my brother and his wife there was no one there. There was no Alice!"

"Did you find Alice, Mr. Cullen?" She asked as she continued to scribble on her yellow legal pad.

_Flashback_

_I was standing at our bedroom door trying to work up the nerve to knock on it. Bella had said Alice was in there trying to get the rest of her things together. They were taking her back to Forks to stay with her father. I needed to talk to her, to apologize or something, anything. But I wasn't sure how._

"_Alice," I called out as I finally worked up the nerve to knock on the door to our bedroom._

"_Jasper?" she replied in a shaky voice followed by a couple of sobs. I dreaded what I knew I was going to see but I had to go in._

_She was sitting there on our king sized bed with her half packed suitcase in front of her, still in her pajamas. Her eyes looked red and tired; I assumed she had been crying since around this time yesterday. Sorry didn't seem like a big enough word for the emotion either of us was experiencing at that very moment._

"_Jasper, thank God you're alright," she said half relieved and half heartbroken. "I'll be out of your house in a few minutes. I'm trying to remember everything so that I don't have to bother you again." The tears were rolling down both her cheeks as she quickly got up off the bed and started throwing what was left of her things in one last suitcase. I stood there like an idiot unable to move. _

"_Alice," I sobbed out. I needed to say something to her, anything._

"_No, Jasper, there's nothing left to say. I'm happy that you're okay though. I was worried after we had called all of the hospitals and police stations." I could have sworn I heard her whisper under her breath that she deserved exactly what she got from me. It made no sense to me really, why she would blame herself. I guess she must have felt guilty for trying to keep me and the other guys home. _

"_Alice, I wanted to marry you, I want to marry you." I said not even recognizing my own voice. The pain my voice emitted was unmistakable. I was going to lose the only woman I truly loved if I couldn't convince her to stay. I love her and I have to fix this somehow._

"_If you wanted to marry me Jasper you wouldn't have left me standing at the altar in front of everyone, everyone that we know!" she cried out in a raised voice. "You could have just told me that you didn't want me instead of wasting all that money on a fairytale that was never meant to happen." Then she threw the suitcase in the floor and kicked it. "I hate you for what you did to me Jasper Cullen, I hate you," she sobbed out. "Do you understand that?"_

"_Yes, I can understand that. I hate me too." My tears fell as quickly as hers did at this point. I was losing my future and I didn't even know why. I needed to decide if I should just let her go without a fight. She had been through enough over our years together. How much more would she have to go through?_

"_WHY," she suddenly yelled. "Why couldn't you just tell me you didn't want me anymore Jasper. I know I'm not Miss domestic as far as cleaning and cooking goes. I didn't think that bothered you though."  
_

_I didn't know what to say to her at this point so I did the only thing that I could do to express to her how much I loved her. I walked over to her and wrapped her sobbing petite body into my arms and cried with her. _

"_I don't want a domestic goddess Alice. I like that you go to college and want to make a career for yourself. I love you, and I can honestly say that, I always will too." I pulled out of our embrace and kept my hands on her upper arms as I looked into her eyes. "Alice, look at me. I have on my tux. I honestly thought today was Saturday. Baby girl, I would never intentionally hurt you like this."_

_She must have seen the sincerity within my eyes because she was trying to hold back a tiny smile._

"_But where were you yesterday, Jasper? Carlisle and the guys said that you had something to do and then you'd be right over."_

"_I don't know, Alice." I answered her as I plopped down on the bed. "I don't recall any of yesterday happening. I don't recall anything after someone punched me in the bar fight the other night, I swear. I woke up this morning thinking it was Saturday, I got dressed and caught a cab because I thought the others had left my ass on purpose or something. Alice I would never leave you for any reason. You have to know that!"_

"_So, do you still want to be with me, Jasper?"_

"_I'll marry you right this minute. All we need to do is find a preacher to do it." _

_Alice thought about things for a few minutes. "I think we have some things to sort through first before we try this again. If what you just told me is the truth…" I interrupted her there._

"_It is, Alice." I said as I raised my hand up to wipe her tears away. "I love you, it's always been you."_

"_Okay, I believe you," she said softly with relief in her voice. "However, we need to find out what happened to you yesterday. We know you black out when you get angry. I think maybe it's time for you to take a closer look at what's causing this to occur. Then if you still want to get married we will, I promise. But there's something you're not seeing clearly or possibly not dealing with. Will you go and see a doctor Jasper? For us." _

_What choice did I have? She was right; I was losing gaps in time. I wasn't being fair to either of us by denying it anymore. So I kissed her and then picked up her suitcase and began to unpack it._

_End flashback_

"And do you recall where you were on that day, Jasper?" The doctor asked seriously.

"NO," I answered shaking my head. "Do you believe me?"

"I believe you, Mr. Cullen. You have no reason to deceive me." She reassured me.

I began to run my fingers through my hair. "I have no idea where that day went Dr. Platt, and that's the Gods honest truth, I swear it!" I said in a slightly elevated voice.

"You've lost periods of time like this before, Jasper?" she asked as she had started writing things down on her yellow pad of paper again.

"It mostly seems to happen when I lose my temper. I guess I black out when I get mad or something. People have always told me that I did or said things that I don't recall. Things like charging the Chief of Police when he came to arrest me back in Forks. I guess I also told Charlie that I was going to kill, _James, _during the standoff." I swallowed hard after choking out that name. I try never to speak it or even think it; it's the worst kind of punishment to my ears and my mind. It sometimes sets off a series of memories that I want desperately to forget.

"I also busted my motorcycle up in high school after _'he'_ had shown up there and found out that I had a girlfriend. I didn't want her hurt and I knew '_he'_ wouldn't think twice about using her to get what he wanted from me."

"What did he want from you, Mr. Cullen?"

"He wanted to fuck me up my ass! What do you think he wanted?" I shouted. Calm down Jasper…this isn't the place to lose your temper. "I'm so sorry," I said sincerely. My head began to hurt and I started massaging my temples, trying to find some sort of relief. I rocked back and forth in the chair. "I can't do this anymore today, Doctor. I need to go; my head feels like it's going to bust open."

"We can end here for today, Mr. Cullen. However I would like to see you here in my office again on Thursday…at 3pm. Does this work for you?"

"Yes, can I go now, Please?"

She stood from behind her desk and reached out to shake my hand "Well, Mr. Cullen it has been a pleasure meeting you," I lightly shook her hand back. She handed me my appointment card before walking me out of her office to an awaiting Alice. She came running frantically to me, throwing her arms around my neck. I pulled her close to me. I needed her to know I was alright, and that I loved her desperately. Alice knew by looking at me what was happening.

"You're having another one of those headaches, aren't you?" she stated more than asked. I could see the crease of worry in her forehead. She always gets this way when I get a headache for some reason. It's like she can feel my pain.

"Yeah, I think I may need to lie down for awhile when we get home." Alice and I walked out of the building and once we got into the car I finally passed out.

**I need to say Thank You to Mizzdee and Annabelle for beta'ing this for me. Although I am sure they won't recognize much of it as I kept changing everything time and again. Any mistakes you may find are mine. ****Have a Great day!**

**Next week we will be hearing from Carlisle and Bella.**


	4. Chapter 4

SM: Owns all things Twilight

Bad Boys Two Jasper's Struggle

Chapter three

Mobster Fantasy

**Bella's POV**

Carlisle was running late for work this morning. His hair was still wet from his shower so it was slicked back and lying in place. He was dressed in a black pinned stripped suit and tie, sun glasses and carrying his brief case. He looked so fucking HOT! Hum, I would wager that he has a sizable gun slid down inside his pants too.

He was in an insane rush to get out the door, grabbing his hot mug of coffee as he quickly disappeared into the garage. And fuck me but if Carlisle didn't come zipping out of our garage, flying backwards onto the street squealing the tires and almost bringing the car around in a full circle. He was driving that black mobster looking type car. You know the kind, long and sleek with dark black tinted windows. It was so damn bad ass and sexy that my panties were soaked in a matter of seconds. I must…have him.

I swiftly became a woman on a mission. I immediately called my dad, asking him to come over and sit with the girls. Which, of course he jumped at the chance to do. Once he got here I ran upstairs. I put on my red lace panties and bra, because it screams 'fuck me hard' to Carlisle, fluffed my hair, put on a little make up, garter, pantyhose and slightly high heels. I then grabbed my coat to complete my outfit. Yeah, I looked ready to be fucked, well other than my pregnant belly.

I was out the door and on my way to Carlisle and Rosalie's garage. I ran a red light in my haste to get to my fuck hot mobster man fantasy. I decided I'd better stop at the next one.

I began to feel the excitement as I sat there knowing there were people all around me, smiling at the idea of not having much on underneath my coat. Finally, I pulled into the parking lot and I made my way into his office, and I waited. I sat there squirming in my seat from my need. At last Carlisle came walking through his office door.

"Bella?" he says in question as to what I am doing there.

I lick my red lips effectively wetting them. He gave me this look that let me know, I'm gonna get it good. Um, so sexy. My heart was racing fast. I know at any second he is going to become extremely aggressive with me. Whispering nasty little things in my ear in this very office. And the door isn't even locked which only added to the excitement of this all.

He walked over to me. His eyes were filled with lust as he pulled my coat off. His mouth was on mine within seconds, roughly kissing my lips as we began to rip at each other's clothes like wild animals.

"God Carlisle can't you get your pants off any faster?"I asked in a needy wanting voice.

"Don't worry little girl you'll get what you came here for," he promised.

"Your damn right I will," I said as I began to help him with those damn pants.

We were both panting and grabbing each other to the point that we were getting frustrated. Carlisle is very handsome in his throes of passion. His breaths were hard and labored as he panted hungrily. His eyes were still that piercing icy blue, sexy and intimidating. He likes it rough and hard. He doesn't care if we're in a public place, in his office or in a car. He doesn't care as long as he gets his rocks off the way he likes it. The way I like it! Perfect.

He grabbed my hair and shoved my naked ass up against his cold office wall. I was going to get exactly what I wanted. Fucked so hard I would know he had been inside of me the rest of the day. We were kissing, grunting like wild animals with every breath.

"You little fucking cunt," he managed to say in a strangled voice of passion. "I'm going to pound that hot, wet pussy of yours."_ Please._ Oh, I love it when he talks filthy to me.

He lifted my legs up and wrapped them around his waist. I could feel the head of his massive cock rubbing at my soaking wet entrance. He rammed his whole cock inside of me at once, and I squealed out in relief, feeling him engorged inside me. I felt my back bounce off the wall with his thrusts. I could hear his ragged breathing close to my ear, with every pump of his cock it got louder, sexier.

"Oh you are so dripping wet for me," he said as he slung me from the wall onto the top of his desk. I was on my back now, and he had one of my ankles in each hand. He was pounding his cock shamelessly inside of me once more while watching himself slid in and out. The sweat was running down his temples as he worked me forcefully.

"Fuck that's sexy as hell….um." He closed his eyes for a few seconds just feeling the sensation of our sex together.

"I gotta get deeper inside you," he pulled my legs open further and I was splayed out in front of him. Carlisle's eyes drank me in as he drew in a ragged breath. He slapped my ass and I tried to jump, but he held me firmly down. He buried himself to the hilt inside of me, and it hurt so good that I let out a little scream. But he kept going without mercy, and I wanted him to. I wanted to know the passion that was my Carlisle. I wanted to be driven to my limits, and he always knew just how to push me there.

He started playing with my clit, flicking it roughly with his fingers. I was ready to come for him again and he knew it. He was a confident man as well as a lover. "Cum for me you little fucking whore," and I did. I came so hard that my legs started quivering underneath his hands. He began pounding into me even harder, and soon I felt his release spill into me. I love office sex.

"So now that everyone in the shop knows what we've been doing, might I ask what brought this on?" he chuckled sexily.

"You looked and drove like a mobster this morning, and I found it so erotic that I had to have you," I winked, as I put my coat back on.

"Yeah, I got that mobster look which tends to become amplified when you consider I have two car seats in my back seat along with cookies ground into the carpeting." Carlisle started laughing at the mental picture and I couldn't help but laugh as well. "I didn't hurt you or the baby did I, sweetheart?" he asked as he placed his hand on my belly.

"No honey, you know I would tell you if I thought there was a problem." I smiled as I watched him buckle his pants. "I'm just a horny little bitch when I'm pregnant."

"Sweetheart, you're a horny little bitch when you're not pregnant," he chuckled.

We sat and talked for a few minutes before there was a light knock on the door. I looked at Carlisle wondering who would bother us now. They had to have known what was going on after all, unless they're just stupid, we weren't exactly quiet.

"Yes," Carlisle called out and the door came open. There stood a sexy long-legged brunette. Her little name tag said Heidi, and she had on a red dress and high heels with straps that wrapped a couple of times around her ankles. She had the jewelry, make-up, manicure, she screamed sexy and I felt ugly compared to her. I gaped at Carlisle and I know my face had fallen because all of my insecurities had just kicked in.

"Bella, this is Heidi. She's my new secretary. Heidi this is Bella, my lovely wife," he introduced.

"Hello Bella, it's so nice to meet you," she said as she looked me up and down.

I didn't answer her greeting. I just gave Carlisle 'the look' and I stomped out of his office and got into my car, slamming the door. He could have informed me that he had a sexy new secretary. It wasn't like that could have easily slipped his mind.

**Carlisle's POV**

"What's wrong with Bella?" Heidi asked offended by my wife's lack of manners.

"She apparently thinks you're prettier than she is," I chuckled. "Don't worry about it though, it's nothing," I said still smirking.

"Did you tell her I have a girlfriend, Carlisle?" Heidi asked innocently.

"No, I guess it must have slipped my mind," I said as I fake coughed into my fist.

"Carlisle, what are you up to?" she accused.

"Nothing, I just thought maybe I might get a little rise out of Bella…for awhile." What is with women giving me the look today? Heidi just did it as well. I am only having a little fun with the sisuation. "I'll tell her tonight, if I happen to remember," I smirked again. I love it when Bella gets all crazy with jealousy; it gets me lots of extra attention. Maybe I should tell her that Heidi bakes pies too. I love homemade pie.

"Oh, the reason I knocked was to let you know someone named Jasper called asking for you. I told him you were...in a meeting," she smiled.

"How did he sound?" I asked concerned. Jasper seemed a little disoriented the last day I had seen him. I would be lying if I didn't say I wasn't concerned about his loss of memory. Then again I sometimes wonder if maybe he just didn't want to marry Alice. Maybe he liked the living arrangements the way they were.

"Well he said something about your returning his call when you got the chance."

"I wish you would have transferred him to Rosalie," I sighed. "I don't know what to say to him." I didn't elaborate any further to her on the subject. It really wasn't my place to tell what didn't happen that Saturday.

"Well he seems like a really nice young man, sounds kind of shy or maybe just quite. If he calls back, I can transfer him through to Rosalie," Heidi offered.

"Nah, I'll call. He's my brother and actually, he's Rosalie's twin. However, they're turned completely different," I smiled thinking of my own girls and how different they were. "Jasper volunteers building houses for the Habit of Humanity organization," I continued. "He also volunteers at a children's abuse center. I'm proud of him for having such a big heart." I caught myself puffing my chest out a little. Jasper really does have a giving heart. "Our mother compared Jasper to King David in the Bible. He has this sixth sense at times. He believes everything has feelings. The trees, grass, animals, air and even the flow of water speaks to him. He's very sensitive."

"Well, you should be proud. A sensitive heart is rare these days. Especially, in a man, no offense." Heidi offered.

"None taken," I assured her.

"Can I ask what Rosalie's husband does for a living?" she asked with a little further confidence.

"He has a class three operator's license at the local water plant," I smiled. "He's always joking that he's gonna pee in the water tank," I chuckled. Heidi's mouth dropped open at my remark.

"You gotta know Emmett, I guess," I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Right," she whispered as she walked out the door with a funny look on her face. Maybe I said too much.

"Hey Jasper, how ya doing?" I asked still concerned about recent events.

"I'm okay, Carlisle. A little frustrated but things will work out." Jasper answered reading between the lines.

"Good, you'll find your way." I assured him trying to be supportive.

"Um, yeah…I'll get there, I guess," he sighed. "The reason I was calling was to make sure it was alright for Alice and I to visit over the weekend. I know you said we are family and to just come. But, I don't want to just show up on your door step, Carlisle."

Typical Jasper never wanting to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

"Jasper, we would love to have you over. You know that little brother. You are welcomed anytime you want to come. Oh, and bring Alice too," I attempted to joke. He chuckled but I knew it bothered him. I have my personal opinions on why he didn't show up for their wedding. However, Bella has warned me to keep my mouth shut about Alice. And for Jasper's sake I have.

"Okay then we'll see you sometime Friday evening."

"We'll be looking forward to it, Jasper," I finished.

I hung up the phone with a smile on my face. I'll have to call in the whole gang for Jasper's visit. There will be a good time had by all.

**I wanna say Thank You to Annabelle for dealing with my crazy ass on this chapter. I know nothing about tenses! Thank You, Lady.**

**I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter. **


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